ONE SEMESTER OF UNIVERSITY COMPLETE // tis the season for (hopefully) more consistent blogging

I've sat here for a solid minute or two trying to think of an alternative to "HI GUYS WOW IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I LAST POSTED," but I can't. There's really no other way to introduce myself back into the blogging world. XD

I thought I would never come back, to be as honest and dramatic as possible. In the months - maybe even years - leading up to high school graduation and the start of university, I must have worked myself into my biggest blogging slump to date because I remember telling a friend that blogging just wasn't my thing anymore and that I couldn't imagine picking it back up.

That, my friends, has changed now that I'm home.

I lost motivation for a lot of things during university that I used to be consumed by. The heavy social atmosphere of my huge college campus and the new schoolwork set-up swallowed everything from my itch to write fiction, to my obsession with blogging, to my burning need to read books at every spare moment. I will say, though, that my love for reading was one passion that didn't fade even though my reading pace slowed considerably. And I did have a few days when I remembered how valuable my WIPs were to me and wrote a page in my novel or skimmed through Dusted Red and Blue Like Sapphires with fondness and nostalgia. There was one evening, maybe two, that one of my roommates and I spent rambling on and on about each other's plots and characters, which was amazing - but also rare, pretty much a one-time occurrence.

I'm trying to tell myself that it's okay. It's okay to be more social, to prioritize things besides writing, reading, and blogging in the university setting. In fact, it's kind of necessary to push those aside?? Or so people tell me? Attending university, especially residentially, is a whole new world that demands a lot from a girl, and I believe I've already grown A LOT from one semester, so it's not a bad realm. Not at all. I love college.

Now that I'm home for break, though, I'm delving back into my hobbies with renewed vigor. Turns out I missed them more than I thought, so I'm already making mental plans to incorporate my passion for fiction more consistently into my life at college. What if it doesn't work, though? What if I'm only ever motivated to pursue my hobbies during breaks and never during school?

I know that's normal, but... I don't want that. In general I find change to be exciting, but it's currently super hard for me to live vastly differently in two vastly different environments. It feels like I have two different lives, that I'm two different people. It's WEIRD and I don't like it. (I know I'm overthinking this, but still.)

All this to say... hopefully I'll be more consistent with blogging in future lol. I'll probably share more reflections about life and be more profound than I've been with blog posts in the past, because since getting back into journaling - yet another hobby I fell out of - all I want to do is ramble about stuff and seek an aesthetic vibe through it all. XD However, I'll also continue to share my adventures with books and writing!

I just really hope this new blogging method will stick. And I really hope you guys like the change.

Besides the deep stuff like identity crises, university has been FUN. So fun. Challenging, but it really builds character, especially the spiritual and relational aspects. Everything from the classroom experience to dorm life has been new and exciting and... stretching. It stretched me to sit in a big lecture hall listening to my professor talk about things I was interested in one day and didn't care about the next, adhere to strict deadlines for all my assignments, stand in long lines for food every day, talk to a variety of people all the time, and live in a small room with two of my best friends.

All of it was hard in ways than I hadn't anticipated and fulfilling in ways that I hadn't dared to hope for. God has been amazing and present as I've adjusted and struggled and laughed and cried and doubted and soared, and I'm incredibly excited to see what He does in the spring!

Until then, I want to share some notable moments from my first semester of uni:

~ having worship and Bible study in the football stadium, in the open air, distanced with a crowd of other students in both the stands and the field (perks of a Christian campus include mid-week worship night XD)

~ complaining with my roommate about stupid, ridiculous stuff in the several gen-ed classes we had together

~ seeing GAWVI live

~ watching The Hunger Games movies with some of the other girls on my hall

~ walking to the quaint diner and the nearby Walmart through different but equally cool tunnels (perfect for belting out that famous melody from Frozen 2, the roomies discovered)

~ attending a church off-campus with my brother, a senior at the same university!

~ watching The X-Files first on my laptop and then on a TV handed down to me by the aforementioned brother

~ decorating the dorm room for Día de los Muertos, then watching Coco on the day itself

~ studying in the library late into the night and stepping out the doors at the exact moment it closed

~ watching my roomie play her instrument in a concert

~ going to a chill Spanish conversation group every week, playing Kahoot at Spanish Club, and eating tres leches cake (soooo good!) first at an Latin American open house and later at a lecture about Colombia

~ watching great films like Toy Story and Jurassic Park in cinematic arts appreciation class 

~ almost dying of nerves because I had TWO presentations on the SAME DAY

~ celebrating the first day of fall with a pumpkin spice frappuccino from Starbucks

~ spending my birthday away from home for the first time and feeling drained - but also special and loved - by the endless attention from my hallmates

~ having two anxiety attacks like I've never had before, one of them inspired by an enormous amount of stress plus caffeine (it was the caffeine that did it)

~ coming home for a weekend multiple times to make up for our lost fall break and being hit by the sights and sounds and FEELS of home that only leaving for a long time can bring

~ surviving Election Day 2020, not to mention the build-up to it o_o

~ sharing the Gospel with a lady in Walmart for evangelism class and having a really awesome discussion with her

~ watching Newsies and The Man Who Invented Christmas back to back a couple days before Thanksgiving break

I know that was a lot lol, but I didn't journal much during the semester, so this recap is just as much for me as it is for you. It took longer than I expected to pull all of those out of my memory, but it's not like I have anything better to do on my day off from work. XD I'm wearing my comfiest sweater, cuddled under my Christmas blanket with our pretty tree and mountain of presents in front of me while listening to lofi Christmas beats and hoping to watch a Christmas movie tonight. *takes a breath* Basically, all the Christmas vibes possible are gathered right here.

Like I said, I hope to be more consistent with blogging again, so I should be back soon. My plan right now is to post every Sunday, but next Sunday I'll be traveling, so I probably won't be able to strictly adhere to that schedule. Or any schedule, really. We'll see, though!

I love you all and miss interacting with each of you in the comments, so be sure to write to me down below and let me know how you're doing!

Oh, and Merry Christmas. <3

The Lord's Truly,